Newfound sense of responsibility

A couple of years ago, I became a godfather. When I met my goddaughter for the first time, it was a fascinating experience. I like babies, but I'd never been a huge baby person, I'd say. But this was the first time that I felt a real sense of responsibility for a baby, and it felt pretty good.

That's been one of the more immediate emotional results of learning that my wife is pregnant (8 days ago today ... welcome to week 2). I feel like my actions aren't just for me anymore; I've got real responsibility. For example, I'm terrible with money. I'm fortunate enough to have no debt, but we live basically paycheck to paycheck. For months, I've been meaning to really put our financial books in order, but money scares me, and I have no real interest in it, so I've just been putting it off. But since we learned that Kate's expecting, it's as though a switch in my head flipped, and I'm thinking "This is where the rubber hits the road. We can't afford to be carefree kids anymore." I've been trying to be proactive in facing the things that freak me out, like the finances. I subscribed to Quicken Online and spent time making a real budget and getting stuff in order.

The sense of responsibility feels kinda good, even though it's scary. I think I have a tendency to avoid problems that make me anxious, but I feel as though this news has prompted me to grow a pair.